Category Archives: Muppets from the Masses

You may be a no one in the daily rat race but now you’re in the Loft.

Welcome, you’re a true Muppet



So I get the roots in programming and I appriciate the categorisation benefits of grouping common themes on the web together under similar topic containers, but when did it become acceptable to place a hash symbol infront of every word you write. #annoying; #pointless; #youmuppet. I guess it’s this crazy obsession with wanting to create a global trending statement. Your 2 minutes of digital fame because #youreadick!

If there is possibly one benefit to come out of this pointless bastardisation of written text, it’s that the Americans are beginning to use ‘hash’ instead of ’pound’.

#takeaseat, #muppet

Thought Leader…. Really?


Now, I’m sure there are people and organisations out there that we could all agree are innovative and leaders in their chosen areas….. But what really gets my goat, are those twats that somehow manage to amass wealth from gullible schmucks by preaching  their drivel, speaking lots but saying nothing or by promising maximum reward for minimal work.

These, my fellow Muppetiers are façades, lies and false dreams, giving your time and money to a self branded ‘Thought Leader’ will benefit no one but them.

Not only does the term itself grate like nails down a chalk board, but the people that introduce themselves as Thought Leaders make me want to physically vomit. Basisally, it is my opinion that these individuals are nothing more than semi articulate failures, with barely enough talent or knowledge to spell ‘greatness’ correctly let alone deliver it. They read all the ‘keynotes’, go to all the conferences, attend all the ‘webinars [vomit again] and memorise the targon whilst surrounding themselves with other loser that think they are Thought Leaders too.

You know who you are, now get in the loft and close the door behind you!!

Social Disease


OMG! Big Up peeps, word to the smalls bruv!!…. and so on….

When did people stop speaking properly and writing God awful, bollocks English that bastardises the great language. Honestly it makes me “wanna blow chunks” or something like that. Please come inside, find someone who isn’t an illiterate fuckwit like yourself and learn the correct use of the English language.

NB if any of the longer words in the rant confused you please follow one of the two links below.. Your choice…..

Option 1:- IMPROVE ME


Taxi Drivers


….. Well actually, more specifically, the thieving piss poor excuse for a human being that robbed me on a ’broken arm induced’ trip from Guildford Station to the A&E at the Royal Surrey hospital, not only did you short me and palm off a chocolate coin as a quid in my change. But worse than that, your taxi smelt (and looked) identical to the ’less than’-sanatory waste facility in a woman’s prison…. Put your ill gotten gains to use and clean your cab….. Fuckwit!!

Welcone to the loft, please take a seat.

Dog Owners



I have no fundamental issue with the ownership of a canine companion. What does make me sick is when owners assume that everyone shares their love of the furry mutt. Allowing your mangy mongrel to invade my personal space or jump all over my clean clothes in NOT my idea for fun, Your dog, your problem…. control it please!!


YouTube-logo-full_color Video Bloggers

Overrunning YouTube with their overly chirpy outlook on life….. Why must you insist on showing me what you purchased in Primark or telling me how ‘awesome’ you think Kim Kardashian is…..

Get a life, welcome to the MuppetLoft, please find a seat.